Gnawings

Do you ever get a gnawing feeling that doesn't go away? Something that claws at you, something that always seems to find your attention. The other day, a letter came from my daughter's new primary school welcoming us as new members of the school and informing us of orientation events before she starts next year. It got me thinking, how is she going to go next year, will she enjoy school, or will she hate it? What about the future, what will she be like in twenty years? Will she be at university?

I look at my daughter and mostly I feel proud of her, but she also acts as a mirror and I can see myself. Then, things about my past start grinding and I'm thinking of hopes and dreams and where they are taking me. All those, would bes and will bes and going tos. Where are they? Not gone but they echo on and on. But you know again, children will fall over and get up again and carry on. Why can't adults do this? why do we collect the baggage on the way? Paul in Corinthians tells us "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." But the point is we don't. What we need to do is stop over analysing, stop complicating things by thinking too much, get more into the moment. Own your life and stop listening to those gnawing whispers, those echoes of what you were, be who you are!