Second Vent

I have been thinking a lot of negatives lately and I am starting to think about all that energy I have lost that could have been put into thinking more positively.  It is time to take on board that stuff that I have been listening to.  It is time to remember that I am the only one who can go inside myself and make change.  Other people out there control what goes on out there, but inside I am the only one that can reach in and control what I am thinking.  Stress is a pain which comes to tell you that there is something that you need to change.  The way out is to remember that I alone can take charge of my mind and change the state of my mind.  I must be able to do this, I have to make myself accept this.  I have to discover what is driving me to stress and feeling down and then questioning myself looking for the whys that I think think this and putting those whys to the test.  Is this really the situation or is it something that my mind is making it up. 

My natural state is a loving, peaceful human being,  Babies are not born stressed or hurt.  I need to remind myself that I am a human being and that I am a peaceful loving soul.  I have to think of myself as a lotus blooming in mud.   Life is a journey, there will be ups and downs and wrong turns, I must have patience with myself and trust that I  will find the right path, I must avoid overthinking and analysing.  Remember "This too shall pass" Meanwhile I can look at this transition this down period as an opportunity to explore myself,  work my way through.  I must be gentle and open and give myself time.  I must do things for myself, when I do good to others, I am doing good for myself.   I am OK and I will be OK.

Another begininng . A Place to Vent

Ok, so it has been a long time since I have written anything here - over a year in fact.  Well here I go again, don't let it be said that I am giving up on these things.  So Pockets of Small Somethings, here I go with the latest installment and the latest turn that this blog has taken.  My daily vents where I will write and get the thoughts in my head out.  It sounds like a plan!

OK, I have been reading a lot lately about the meaning of life and I am thinking that maybe I have done with that and need to move on to something else.  I am feeling small and a undervalued, worthless at times, I need to move on and get out of the rut that I am in.  But I need to know how to go about this and work it out for myself.  How do I discover that happiness in my life. I am not talking about being in a happy state all the time - well at least that's not what I think i want.  Rather it is to be happy and content in life with all the speed bumps that get thrown up along the way.  I need to get over this current mood I am in and discover things about myself.  I need to break through the negativity that comes and find something that makes me happy.  I am listening/watching youtube and finding some stuff on that.  I am not waking up in the middle of the night now going over things.  I am not waking up feeling scared of the day ahead as I was doing, but there is a very big unease about my life, my work and relationships with family, work colleagues, I need to stop harping on in my head about this and stop the self talk that goes along.  I need to discipline my mind and get over all this noise that comes up in my head.  So I will do the meditations and I will continue to listen to postitive stuff.  I will  keep going and try not to let life get me down.  I will count the blessings that I have because there are blessings.  I will change myself and get over these thoughts that come up. 

Start today to do this.  So I am on this journey.  It is a road with many different branches and sometimes I walk down the wrong road and then have to find myself back on the right route.  I am OK and despite everything I am doing ok.  I was listening to a talk and a Brahma was talking about being at a point in life where you start to despair and thinking about life being like the hero's journey.  So I am on the hero's journey.  Yes life will throw me challenges and I may not do so well at times, but I will go on and endure and get better and move on just a little down this road.  Pockets full of Somethings.  In my pocket I have a screw, what have you?   Sometimes all you need to do is something simple - putting a hand in your pocket and you pull out treasure,   I need to get over this rut and find myself down that road.  I will OK and I am OK.